If you ask my preferences about the two schools of marriage, my up-bringing may dominate my western outlook and try to pull me towards an arranged marriage. But hey....i am the generation next....youngistan meri jaan....i at least don't have a negative perception towards a 'love' marriage. It does work.... But i often wonder if marriage kills the 'love'!!....the excitement of discovery of a gal in an arranged marriage seems interesting...at least contempt is bred late.....u r free to interpret 'discovery', but it hardly leaves space for excitement if you take the 'wrong' side!
My parents were just short of giving me a Gantt chart on the project called marriage. My mom's ultimatum was that either I find a gal, or they will, within 2 years. Unfortunately I am stuck in a city where friday dressing means white silk saree with gold border and a jasmine garden on the head. oh..how I do empathize with Kirsh Malhotra of '2 States'. So a large pie-of-my-chart is commanded by my parents. So how does it feel like?
Arranged marriage is like a menu card.
0. Caste-Subcaste 1, 1.1, 1.2...., Subcaste 2, 22.214.171.124.....
1. Dowry-Lakhs or crores. Anything less, its a road-side eatery
2. Things that come free with dowry-car, gold etc etc etc.....
its a one time opportunity for the guy's family. Its the culmination of the family's efforts to get a degree and a green card tagged to the guy. Probably India is the only place where we find a third source of capital- equity, debt and dowry. Of course the last one doesn't fortunately have a secondary market!!
3. Assets-no pun intended ;) for god's sake...remember, the parents are reading the menu...
4. Color of skin- Dark(mentioned as wheatish), Fair, Very Fair
5. Education: let me tell you the choice here for me happens to be bad. 99.8679% are B.Tech if you are seeing Andhra gals.
well, there are more items on the menu card which are relegated to oblivion if the ones above are substantially large.
Does it end here? not yet....you have permutations and combinations of stars and planets that must match. I swear I will murder the next guy who discovers another planet in our solar system. We have enough to confuse us.
The funny part of an arranged marriage is the afford-ability or freedom to choose from the menu. So surely its an advantage for the guys!! You get most of the things you want!!!
Fortunately I have parents who care nothing for the top 3 items (oh..in this case zero before one cannot be ignored).....but i must confess, its not the entire menu they intend to sacrifice....after all I am giving them a chance....I am still single after living in India's capital for a couple of years..(hope u don't start assuming things here....and if u have, u can stop it...its false)...but the planetary configurations narrow my choice to half-gal look-alikes.......May the stars line up for me.....
To hell with the menu......but i am stuck in jasmine gardens!
PS: I am still neutral on the schools. First in, is in.